40 Posts in 40 Days | Day 5

Seeing Life From God's View
Originally Written August 21, 2009

Point to Ponder:

• Life is a test and a trust.

Question to Consider:

• What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest trusts God has entrusted to me?

Aside from knowing that I definitely have NOT been seeing life through Biblical metaphors, I'm not certain I can readily define what personal worldly metaphor I HAVE been using. If it's 'as a contest,' then as Pastor Pete would say it's been kicking my tail. Grad school... work... sense of failure...

Maybe that's been the test! So if that's the case, I suppose I'm now faced with having to grapple with the prospect that a God I only vaguely knew existed back in 2002/3 would put me in a master class that would absolutely drive me up the walls and lead me to decide to walk away from what should have been the (or, at least, "a") highlight experience of my life. That the same God sent me from there into retail.

The biggest question, though, is whether or not my response to these tests was what God had in mind. I'm betting not. On the other hand, if you're not aware at the time that you're being tested, does the response count?

But that's enough of the past... it can't be changed, so my effort should go into identifying the tests I'm facing now. One big one is a sense of malaise and boredom that has been creeping more and more into my work life. I would absolutely hate to see a chart of how my time is actually divided up between actual work and wasted time. I don't imagine it's any worse than any of my coworkers, but that isn't the point. I need a way to renew my focus. So, I think I've arrived at my second concrete action step in as many days: Monday, I need to make a conscious effort to track where my time goes. I need to probably also re-read the overview section of Getting Things Done and get back to basics on that.

Moving right along... life is a trust. This one to me seems to refer me back to some of what I've already written. There are lots of things I could say God has entrusted to me, but one biggie is my brain. For whatever reason - in the spirit of the moment and setting, we'll chalk it up to good wiring - I seem to fit the general definition of 'smart.' I'm no astrophysicist, and as I've lamented several times over the last few days, I don't have a Ph.D., but I don't sit around all evening drinking beer and watching reality TV, either. Assuming this point is true, I've been entrusted with this asset. What to do?

I'm concerned, and I've outlined this already, that it's my overly analytical nature that's keeping me from God. There must be something I'm supposed to do with my head other than sit around and read. Hopefully, as I continue working through this book and continue on my Quest quest, whatever that is will become clearer to me.

Verse of the Day

"Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones."

- Luke 16:10a